Mourning the Dead
by Theanimekitty89
Summary: <html><head></head>Canary's feelings after Gotoh's death and Amane's attempt at cheering her up that doesn't go unnoticed. HxH drabble. Fluffy.</html>


_**a/n:** Very first hxh drabble. First hxh anything actually, so please comment ouo_

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><p><strong>Mourning the Dead.<strong>

The trip back to the Zoldyck household seemed to stretch much longer than it initially was, none of the three 'butlers' speaking a word which left the atmosphere insufferably dull and the tension in the air remaining unbroken. Amane was usually a very silent person so it didn't bother her that much, but every once in a while she would sneak a glance or two at her dark-skinned companion, who appeared to be lost in her own thoughts since she was slowing down considerably. The Kiriko and Amane either had to call for her to hurry up or slow down themselves to match Canary's speed. Either way, the new change didn't look very good.

Although the events leading to this point could've gotten worse, on so many plans, the Zoldycks were satisfied with the outcome and with the way which the situation had been handled. The potential threat of Killua risking the entire Zoldyck family's existence over the well-being of his first best friend was no more, and they could all rest assured that there was nothing else on the silver-haired boy's mind than taking care of his little sister.

Amane mentally took note on how Canary still seemed to rather absentminded. When they were dismissed, the taller girl went to walk beside her since she didn't show any signs of stopping until they were at the butlers' residence.

"You seem rather distant," Amane said. "Of course I'm only stating this since I don't know you personally enough to consider this a bad thing."

Canary titled her head a little, eye-lids lowered halfway over silvery orbs. She shrugged. "Perhaps. I wonder what Killua-sama will say about this. He will discover it eventually, you know."

"Killua-sama won't willingly return to the Zoldyck estate unless he has to," Amane replied matter-of-factly. "And as the other members of the Zoldyck family, he shouldn't view the butlers as anything else as tools of servitude. We're merely here for their service, after all."

All workers at the estate had that knowledge drilled into them from the very first day that they arrived, so this wasn't a fact that necessarily discouraged either of the two ladies. It was a part of the job and the everyday life that they lived. The trees surrounding the two girls left their leaves scattered by the winds, their gentle rustling created by a particularly hard breeze sounded in all directions.

Canary lifted her chin upwards and stared thoughtfully into the darkening sky. "I've known Gotoh ever since I first came here three years ago," she began softly. "Back then, he was naturally as strict as ever, but he never treated me badly whenever I didn't do my job right; even with something as simple as carrying a straight back. I always assumed it was because I was young and inexperienced."

Amane had started to notice how their steps had gradually come to a halt, both of them standing on the path halfway to the butlers' estate, one gazing confusingly on the other while the other gazed into the night. "At some point, he told me that he came from Meteor City too. He said that although he was much older, I looked the same as he did when he first arrived at Kukuroo Mountain. And here I thought I was the only one…"

Amane let Canary talk, not particularly understanding why _she_ the one that the other girl confined her secrets to or why she was expected to listen to any of it. They still had a job to do but for some reason, Amane couldn't bring herself to walk away during such an emotional moment.

It meant something to Canary and Amane didn't want to ruin that.

"I feel like it could've been prevented, you know? Maybe if I'd stayed regardless of what Gotoh had told me to – he had still have been here. I feel like – like I was a hindrance and that I wasn't doing my best because in the end, we lost one of the most important butlers in the Zoldyck household. We lost a very meaningful person, and I don't care that we're not supposed to befriend other employers here. I…I let Gotoh down."

The silenced stretched once more, the wind sounding all the more louder in comparison. Canary no longer looked at the sky but shamelessly hung her head, carrying on her walk towards the wooden residence that they had initially been headed towards. Amane followed troop, trying to wrap her head around what had just been left out in the open. Surely Canary knew that the Lady of the household could be spying on their conversation? Or anybody else for that matter. Did Canary_ really_ not care?

Amane complemented on what to say, how to word her next sentence because comforting other people usually didn't come naturally to her. "Well, I'm not saying this to make you feel better but personally, I would've thought the complete opposite this whole time. You only left the battlefield so you could protect Killua-sama and carry out the mission at hand. Had you not obeyed to Gotoh's orders and stayed with him, he most likely would've been disappointed in you. And might I add, even when he got away from us, _you_ managed to figure out where he was headed and _you_ helped him get away while acting as a decoy to lure away Illumi-sama. All to protect the young master and _that's_ what Gotoh wanted all along. If I were him, I'd be rather proud of you for executing a plan like that. Perhaps even a little more for thinking ahead of _me_ as well."

Canary stopped walking again and it caught the taller girl a little off guard, stopping as well in her tracks in the slight realization that what she'd just said might not have been as encouraging as she thought. Why, Amane had both praised _and_ told the other girl that she had thought ahead of her, why in the world wouldn't that be words of comfort? If it had done nothing but worsen the situation, then Amane would of course apologize and say no further about the matter. Canary would be getting over this loss by herself eventually.

But as the dark-skinned butler turned towards her, she saw no visible traces of anger written on her face or even signs of offense. Her face lit up in the most indescribable expression of happiness that Amane had ever seen, the dull silvery orbs bursting to life with a light that made them shine as bright as stars. A little colour had appeared on the shorter girl's cheeks and her plump lips curled into a careful smile, not wanting to display her inner excitement so openly. They were still within the walls of Zoldyck property, after all.

"…you really think so?"

"If not, I wouldn't have told you so," Amane shrugged at the comment as if the answer was obvious, not quite being able to meet the other girl's eyes when they were this powerful. "Believe me, I know better than to speak consoling lies just to pull you out of your own hole of self-doubt and depression. I'd never lie just for that."

"…then I assume that you being a little too full of yourself just now is no lie either, no?"

Amane let the comment slide, but raised her voice an octave louder when she went to walk in front of Canary. "If you're feeling less in a sulkier mood, I suggest that you get a move on so you can be ready to you continue your assignments, Canary."

"Thanks, Amane."

Amane froze, pale blue eyes widening a fraction in surprise, disbelief, the slight possibility that she might have heard wrong – but there Canary was, smiling without a care in the world, all traces of her earlier sorrow and mourn gone as if they never existed and she seemed much cheerful than ever.

_Did I do that..?_

"I really appre-."

"Canary, you're wasting time," the reply came, tight and laced with controlled emotions that were never to surface and become real. The emotions that were being pushed down in favour of being a professional butler, that never allowed feelings such as 'delight', 'content' and having been able to help someone who needed her. Not because she was asked to, but she wanted to help and she's never been this pleased to help someone else than her employees or her grandmother before. It was strange but it was welcoming.

Amane liked that.


End file.
